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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:45:32 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:45:29 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:45:23 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:45:14 -0400

fivem0nths: I’d like to do cute shit with you. But also fuck the living fuck out of you.

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:45:05 -0400

fivem0nths:

I’d like to do cute shit with you. But also fuck the living fuck out of you.

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:45:00 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:44:47 -0400

langleav: Just a note to say thank you to everyone who has...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:44:45 -0400

langleav:

Just a note to say thank you to everyone who has supported me and bought a copy of my new book Love & Misadventure. If you haven’t yet, I really need your help. If you love my work and want me to keep writing, please purchase a copy now or tell as many people as you can about it. You can also help by leaving a positive review on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and The Book Depository.

I’ve received lots of lovely feedback directly to me and yes, I agree nothing beats holding an actual book in your hands and reading your favourite words whenever you wish. xo Lang

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:43:51 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:43:42 -0400

junhyungxx: Hyuna getting shy because hyunseung was too close~...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:43:38 -0400

junhyungxx:

_{Hyuna getting shy because hyunseung was too close~ lol qtpies~}

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:43:30 -0400

drunkfeferi: I just want to be treated like a princess all day (◡‿◡✿)Then fucked senseless until...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:43:24 -0400

drunkfeferi:

I just want to be treated like a princess all day (◡‿◡✿)
Then fucked senseless until I’m screaming (◠‿◠✿)
Then cuddled and held all night long to keep nightmares away (◕‿◕✿)

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:43:09 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:41:32 -0400

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:41:20 -0400

declaringwar: Clear

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:40:24 -0400

declaringwar:

Clear

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:37:38 -0400

Wednesday June 19, 2013 3:36am I thought about him a lot tonight. I mean it’s been really...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:36:55 -0400

Wednesday June 19, 2013 3:36am

I thought about him a lot tonight. I mean it’s been really bad these past few days, I really don’t know how to feel or I don’t know what to do if I’m going to do anything at all.

I still sit here, thinking it would be good to finally say something to get it off my chest. I guess it really would be a weight lifted off my shoulders. but then I think that maybe it might be wrong, like perhaps something that’s like, “don’t bother..” I really don’t fucking know. I feel more on the “say something” side, but then I just don’t. I don’t think it’s because I’m scared? I don’t know what it is.

I still wonder what your reaction would be if it’ll have an effect on you at all. and I guess with that, I won’t know unless I actually go with it. I think I’ll truly have no more hope for you if you decide to straight up ignore me. Or maybe actually…. maybe actually it is best for you not to bother saying anything at all. i think as long as you read it…. I feel that if you do read it at least, or even if you do end up actually saying something against me, I feel that you’ll know inside that the things I’m saying are true. If you continue to be in denial, live inside a fantasy. What am I to do. I can only say, enjoy your false happiness.

Lately I’ll at least type out a few of my thoughts on my phone’s notes. and it sucks, because it makes me realize there’s A LOT. Like it’s even more sad, because it’s not even like me rambling saying the same thing over and over, it’s just many many things to be said, more than I realize. I want to try to shorten these things, but I just can’t.

I feel that details are important.

Along with thinking about him tonight, to be honest i freaked out a little for a moment. I don’t know what it was actually. I was stupid enough to go through old texts, and within the old texts were a few picture he sent of himself. and I looked at it for a moment, and it’s like I forgot who he was. Like, “is this the guy I use to always talk to, all those sweet words and conversations were coming from this guy- and like oh hey he’s white.” As if I effing forgot? Like??? I don’t fucking know?? After that I was like, “I’ve been wanting to forget you. kind of. but now it feels like I am, and I’m freaking out. it’s just… weird.”

but within those old texts, I read things like how you would ask me to never let you go, or to never leave you, or promising we’d stay together, and that you wouldn’t leave. Lately I’ve been thinking that, within seeing that she doesn’t really love you, I try to admit to myself that I guess you don’t really love me either. and then I think about all these times and see these things and it kind of makes me think again. Multiple times you’ve said that you were in love with me, many times you said that. Along with saying I was the love of your life. And what bothers me more (as if I’m not bothered enough) is some stuff you use to say to me, it’s like you say to her now. Let’s not forgot about what use to be our secret code, you even shared with her. It’s like you’re sharing stuff that use to be between you and I with her, like…. I don’t know…. are you trying to have some of the stuff WE had with her? Like are you trying to take some of the pieces of me, of what we had together, and trying to have these things with her? God I don’t know if that makes sense, I don’t know how to put it.

It’s funny, because I realize…… god I “realize” too much, especially tonight. That it’s like my mind has matured a little more over time since then from these texts. Like… I’m just… not the same little girl. Sort of. I mean, i kind of am still a little girl right? Or maybe a part of me still is actually. I don’t know, I feel a little more mature in my mind which is crazy, because… it’s one of those moments where you don’t realize how much has changed until you really look back on it. Like I don’t know…. the way we talked was….. young love….???

I really am not sure if I can ever be the same with you.

If I ever even had the nerve to be with you once more, things would be different. The only way is if we start over in a way. I know we can’t start over “completely” there’s just no way unless you have a time machine. By that I mean, the memories and experiences will stay.

But as painful as they are, maybe it’s better that way. Because we learned.

But I’ve been saying this to myself, some people never change.

I’ve been seeing the quote on how like perfect couples or whatever never give up on each other no matter what. I guess it’s some what true. But I thought to myself that it also kind of isn’t, because in this case, I feel like in this uhh “love triangle” we’ve hurt each other too much. Well between those two at least that it’s seriously to the level of just straight up “what the fuck.” Like when the person is continuously cheating like she does, then it’s like you need to know when it’s enough and the limit, and what’s wrong. If they’re constantly hurting you, first of all, you need to realize they’re not changing, like you should’ve gotten that after the six other times she cheated on you after the first. But if they’re constantly hurting you, you probably need to realize they don’t love you. Because if they loved you they wouldn’t be hurting you so much in the first place… right? It can’t be a fucking “mistake”. But that’s when it twists on me, and I realize all the times he’s let me down and makes me think I guess he didn’t love me either?

Someone that I follow posted a quote that reminded me of him, it was something like “I realized it not you that I missed. it’s the memories and the comfort of being around you for so long.” and I feel like that’s what it is between them. I mean he’s kind of even said it, that it’s just that he’s been with her for so long and he couldn’t let that go. Aaand then I think about how he said that and how much of a b.s. reason that was to choose her over me or anyone else…. yea that’s like the only reason he had on me wtf.

[slams my head onto my keyboard]

I SERIOUSLY DIDN’T EVEN MEAN TO RAMBLE ON AND ON AND ON LIKE THIS AND END UP HAVING THIS SO FUCKING LONG.

but like I’ve said, it’s probably better I let it out right?

I’ve been bottling things up too much lately.

and look at me now.

I’m practically exploding… or at least I’m about to….

I don’t fucking know.

I think I’m finally done for tonight. SIIIIIIIGGGHHHH

but I’m not sure when I’ll finally be “done”….. with all these thoughts.

ugh fuck. just fuck. I really don’t fucking know.

goodnight….

jesussbabymomma: HOW IS IT 2 AM ALREADY IT WAS 1998 TWO SECONDS AGO

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 02:18:20 -0400

jesussbabymomma:

HOW IS IT 2 AM ALREADY IT WAS 1998 TWO SECONDS AGO

Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Machine

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fivem0nths: I’d like to do cute shit with you. But also fuck the living fuck out of you.

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langleav: Just a note to say thank you to everyone who has...

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junhyungxx: Hyuna getting shy because hyunseung was too close~...

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drunkfeferi: I just want to be treated like a princess all day (◡‿◡✿)Then fucked senseless until...

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declaringwar: Clear

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Wednesday June 19, 2013 3:36am I thought about him a lot tonight. I mean it’s been really...

jesussbabymomma: HOW IS IT 2 AM ALREADY IT WAS 1998 TWO SECONDS AGO